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I guess it was at this point I decided to quit school and make it on myown. My parents weren't happy with this plan but could see I was wastingaway at school and needed something in my life to grab on to.I started going to the park and sitting on the benches watching thepeople go by and wondering all the while if it would be better to be aboy or a girl. Mostly I went outside as a girl but when I felt mymanhood calling I would go back to being Fred again. Boy or girl itdidn't seem to matter, I couldn't get out of the box I was living in. Istill felt isolated from the rest of the world and couldn't seem to makecontact with anyone. Death started to make his way into my thoughts andbefore long he was sitting on the bench next to me saying that I shouldput an end to my suffering.But I just wasn't going to do myself in. I was at a point where I wasn'tholding on to life but I wasn't seeking death either when a strangething happened. This girl came by riding a motorcycle and stopped infront. Then we freshened and had hot tea.We sat on the sofa in the drawing room and I had placed my head on his chest. Sumit was caressing me lovingly. I told him about my dream and he smiled. He asked me if I was regretting what happened. There was absolutely no regret or guilt. All I wanted at that time was my and Sumit’s child in my womb. After breakfast, Sumit left.I took bath and observed huge red teeth marks on shoulder, breasts, and thighs. I touched them and felt the excitement. We made proper arrangement later. Sumit was coming home on alternate afternoons. From that day I started persuading my husband for sex once a week. I used vaginal contraceptive tablet ‘Today’ during so-called mating with my husband which he could not even guess.Also, I chose only safe periods to be with my hubby just to double ensure. Though it was nothing I used to tell that he was very good and that he did very well in bed. In subsequent kitty parties ladies used to praise me saying that I was looking more.
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